Self-awareness syndrome | new news

If there is one thing that is both boon and bane of my existence, it is that I am incredibly, stupendously self-aware but also incredibly, stupendously impotent to fix it, and not for lack of trying mind you.

And honestly, real talk: everyone who says "all it takes to fix it is discipline" can go fuck themselves over. If it were that easy to create and maintain that discipline, I would have already fixed it. If life didn't always like screwing even the most disciplined of people, then I would have already fixed it.


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In other news, my new steady job as a writer/editor for an online travel magazine -- completely at the other side of the communications fence -- is the most fun I have had working in a long time.

I just wish I could work from home instead of going to an office, but hey, at least someone is doing my accounting and computing my tax returns because I still don't get how this godforsaken Philippine government does it (they make sure you as the payer gets screwed over).

If you're looking for me, I'm Jocelyn on www.traveldailymedia.com. Please watch out for uncut/uncensored/alternate versions of my Travel Daily articles on this blog. ^.~v

I wish I did this before you left...

From http://xkcd.com/162/.

Yes, still feeling a bit of separation anxiety. We're like the Weaver Princess and Cowherd personified ... and hey, the even worse part is, the analogy fits too.

I miss you so much Mahal.

'Wag kang kukurap! (Blink and you'll miss it!)

While looking for videos on the late, great former President Cory Aquino on YouTube, I stumbled across this:


ASAP 2009 tribute to Cory Aquino, originally aired on August 2, 2009 live on ABS-CBN 2 and simulcast (or delayed telecast?) on The Filipino Channel (also owned by ABS-CBN Networks). Uploaded by VisayanPinoySBG without intent of infringing copyright laws.

Do NOT miss 3:55 of the footage - the wedding photo, where Ms. Aquino's eyes blink! Whether or not this was a broadcast flicker, or the image happened to be super imposed over a simulcast on-cam footage of a viewer, or it was actually Ms. Aquino being slightly impish but still untiringly watching over her baby, the Filipino people, who knows?

Also, major props for people who noticed:

Read this, PRES. CORY AQUINO died August 1, 2009 at 3:18 in the morning. That's 08/01/2009 3:18 right? now, remove the zero's(0) and put the numbers together... Results to 8129318 Rearrange the numbers... Results to 8/21/1983 That's August 21, 1983. The day Ninoy died. Coincidence? That's the true Love.
- taken from the official Cory Aquino Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Yellow-Ribbon-for-President-Cory-Aquino/100738003363)

Nakakakilig nga naman kung iisipin. ♥

Plus, of course, a bit of school pride, courtesy of Mr. Erik De Castro and (Thomson) Reuters:

Students make the sign of the cross as they pay their respects to late former President Corazon Aquino at De La Salle University in Manila August 3, 2009. REUTERS/Erik De Castro


Postscript: This idiot keeps spamming the official Ninoy Aquino thread on Facebook by writing hate messages! Writing it once was enough, but seriously, your devotion to piss people off... are you a die-hard Marcos loyalist (in which case, didn't you get the memo that Bongbong and Imee Marcos were at Tita Cory's wake on Tuesday, August 4th?) or are you a typical uzi (usisero/kibitzer) with too much free time on your hands? :P

Paalam, minamahal na Pangulo.

As someone who has lost relatives to cancer, I am glad that you have been relieved of your pain. As someone who has been tasked to safeguard the principles you fought for, I am determined to ensure your legacy is not in vain.

Maraming salamat po, Tita Cory.

These past 2 weeks have been crazy.

1) Hongkong began as a disaster but at least the weekend evened out. We arrived early at Chek Lap Kok Airport but we couldn't take a ride into the city in time for our meeting. Some of us went ahead to present while the rest, myself included, just caught up with them just in time for lunch (courtesy of our contacts at HK) after arranging for check-in at our hotel. Then the weather was too cool and too rainy for comfort (stupid CNN said it would be clear skies through the weekend! XP), but Disneyland was all sorts of fun (considering how small it is) and clubbing at Lan Kwai Fong was ... well, unforgettable. XD; (Sa mga nakakaalam walang manlalaglag. X3) Did not get to shop as much as I'd wanted though, and I kept getting the group lost and late and stuff, bleh. XP

2) My godmother (Dad's sister; also the proud new grandmother whose picture I posted here 2 years ago) died of cancer two days before I was supposed to fly out. I was numb for the next few days, even with the clubbing and Disneyland craziness. I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come out.

3) Made a couple of stupid decisions especially on Wednesday. Backlogged to the max pa. Did not even get to buy tickets to the final set concert of the Eraserheads. Need to rectify everything ASAP. Shet. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDX

4) Shopped for stuff for my birthday yesterday (Saturday). I honestly wasn't sure I should celebrate it the way I wanted to considering the death in my family lately, but I decided I was turning 25 only once and I wasn't going to celebrate any more birthdays after that so I may as well celebrate life. Besides, it's one of the few times I'm going to see my all my closest friends (hoping to make 25 for 25, lol) from all walks of life. I was in such a bad mood earlier since I was supposed to do some leftover work before I left and then again when I got home but Anthy died so I asked markpoa's younger brother to fix it. He's cool. (Thanks for fixing my PC!) Very glad I had Neko and Sherry, who even went the extra mile by patiently waiting for me while I de-stressed by watching the Charice Pempengco concert, with me or I would've gone nuts. thank you girls! ♥

Also: Francis Magalona died due to complications brought about by leukemia on Friday, 6th March. An acquaintance/semi-friend of mine (who's also a co-worker's sister) is a nurse at Medical City, where he breathed his last. While I am still somewhat embarrassed to remember dancing to his song at age 7 (which has gone on to show that I can't dance but I still do it anyway), I admit I enjoyed his songs as a guilty pleasure. Francis M was 44 and is survived by his wife and eight (8!) children.

Ang Buhay Nga Naman.

Nakakatuwa.
Sa bihira kong paspasang pag-e-emo nang todo-todo sa LJ, 'yung mga hindi ko pa inaasahang sasagot ang una't una pang sumaklolo sa akin.
Ngayon alam ko na kung sino ang mga tunay kong kaibigan. ~_~

Kilala ninyo kung sino kayo. Maraming salamat sa inyo.
Ang hinihiling ko na lang ay kung sakaling magkita tayo muli, hangga't maaari, magpanggap na lang muna tayo. Magpanggap kayong hindi ninyo alam na namomroblema ako, at magpapanggap ako na masaya ako. Masaya na rin naman ako dahil narito kayo at kapiling ko, sapat na 'yun.

Muli, maraming salamat sa inyo.