Sony PlayStation® Philippines Official Launch

Sony Philippines, Inc. invites you to the first PlayStation® Event on March 27 and 28 at the Glorietta Activity Center. Enjoy the extensive display of the full PlayStation® line-up, try out the newest game offerings and watch the hottest bands perform onstage.

Up for grabs are brand new PlayStation®3, (PSP®) PlayStation®Portable and limited edition PlayStation® premium items by simply joining any of the following activities:
I. COSPLAY Fashion: Visit and register online via https://www.smap.ap.sony.com/survey/se.ashx?s=15795BB2331B4D66.
II. COSPLAY Battlefield: Visit and register online via https://www.smap.ap.sony.com/survey/se.ashx?s=15795BB2331B4D66.
III. PlayStation® Amazing Race
IV. PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) Tekken Network Battle
V. PlayStation 3® Ridge Racer 7 Competition
VI. I Want A PlayStation®3 Raffle Onsite Draw (2 brand new PlayStation®3 units to be raffled out)

For more information log on to www.sony.com.ph, call our Customer Contact Center at (02) 878-7600, or kindly visit the PlayStation Philippines Official Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=377990327690&ref=nf.

Yes I live!

Hello from the tadpole-shaped island of Corregidor ... which is where I'll be spending my 26th birthday! d^_~b It'll be crazy interesting as we have an event at work today. I also heard that a certain fiction writer's coming to town. v^.~v

(I just realised I look like Medusa in this photo. XD;;; Sorry if I scared anyone.)

The past three months have been nothing short of stressful and tiring, but they have also been great learning experiences for me. Now I would like the universe to give me a dozen quid more of the existing pesos on my bank account, so that my birth day would be just this short of perfection. X3

Also, some of you know this already, but I'm going to be spending time with my Mahal during my (terribly short) vacation in the next two weeks! ^________________^ ♥ That is, bar none, the best birthday gift ever. Ah, all this running around is gonna be worth it, I can tell. I am hoping I'll be able to blog more and even get to fix this, but we'll see, eh?

Anyways, until then, see you around! :P

Hangad/Intent Part 1 of 2

Whoa, it's been a while since I was last here, hasn't it?

Long story short, I have been crazy-busy working hard.

While trying to return to my gyaru following (it's never really gone, don't worry) and also trying to ruminate on what happens now that my 26th birthday is finally upon me, I found this translation of a blog entry by former Ageha model Sakurina. I don't find her very beautiful by gyaru or even ageha standards and her obsession with nail art can be terrifying on so many levels, but underneath it all it seems she's got a great head on her shoulders and great taste besides, as evidenced by her working on the Sailormoon-themed photoshoot that I reposted around a while back. (I'm sorry, but it also helps that she is one of the few models I know who's actually older than me! XD I SO need an oneesama to help me out... X_x) This blog entry is no exception. It's too good to quote in snippets, so I will repost in its entirety:

Honne (Real Intention)

Good evening.

This is Sakurina.

Today I will tell you what I am thinking.

How do I say this. I’m turning 27 this April…so you think about a lot of things.

Honestly, I don’t think I can continue being a model like this, a lot of young cute girls come out in this world, I feel uneasy and impatient and at times I think “What am I?”

Even so, when I write in my blog there are fans who look at it and when I have events people come…am I someone who is burdened with those people’s expectations.

But, it’s been my dream for a while now, I finally feel like I have something that I want to proceed with, it is singing.

It’s difficult and I was giving up, but you only have one life, if I’m going to live for however many years I should do what I want at the time or I’ll miss out.

I hear that you shouldn’t use the phrase “Someone like me…” anyway.

In the past I hated my face so much that I broke a mirror twice.

How come that girl’s eyes are so big but mine are like this?

How come that girl’s eyelashes are so long but mine are…

How come that girl’s nose is tall but mine is…

How come that girl’s teeth are so nice but mine are…

How come that girl…I hated everything about myself, I got angry, I cried, every day I was irritated.

Right now the reason why my makeup is dark is to deceive everything.

It’s one of the things I thank the world for.

If I was already cute before then I wouldn’t mind wearing lighter makeup.

That’s why if I have a boyfriend I don’t like him seeing other cute girls.

Because they’re all originally cute.

It’s not fair.

When I saw a gravure idol she said “Why don’t you try making your makeup lighter?” I thought be quiet.

Once I was in Ageha, my skin was rough, I hated events, TV, photography. I don’t even like going outside to shop.

“Wouldn’t it be hard to find someone with dirtier skin than me?”

On the train, the grandma next to me or the salary man sleeping in front of me, my skin was the dirtiest…

I don’t want to see anyone I don’t want to be seen…

I took it out on my parents.

My mom told my father that if she could change she would.

If I don’t have room for myself then I can’t be nice to people.

I hate myself for that and it leads to a vicious circle.

Right now my skin has gotten better, I’ve gotten used to the environment and right when I thought I had calmed down all of a sudden I had reached this age…

There are things on here that I can’t write, things I hate, a lot of horrible things.

Even so, I have to live.

Right now, for all those people who have been filled with anger…

Rather than having regret of not doing it, regret after doing it will help you grow.

I’m going to try harder.

Everyone let’s get stronger together.

The anger right now, when you turn 80 years old, it’ll just be a funny story.

You’ll be telling someone, “Something like that happened.”

As long as you get over it right now, more enjoyable things will be waiting for you.

Starting something new, even though it’s scary, when it’s a success you’ll feel more happiness.

You won’t know till you try anything.

I’m small, my style isn’t that great, I wasn’t really beautiful to begin with, but even someone like me can work as a model and have lots of people laugh, it’s a mysterious world, as long as you don’t give up then your dreams can come true.

Those who become happy are the winners.

I feel like I won’t lose to those girls who are originally cute, originally smart, or originally athletic.

I would be happy if at least one out of many reading this blog thought “I’m going to try hard!”

A lot of people are reading this blog so I felt the need to tell you guys more things. Please continue to watch over me.

Thank you so much.

*Translation by Kelly and Tiffany of Himestyle.

On one hand, I feel glad that a model who many girls look up to is so willing to be vulnerable online. I lived through the supermodel era, with Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, Kate Moss and others like them strutting their 5-inch heels all over people's faces. You could NEVER tell these models that they were ugly - they would bash your mug and often got away with it! To have a someone of Sakurina's stature, although nowhere near the supermodels of the 1990s, admit so candidly that she was so violently hateful of herself to break two mirrors in her hatred, was unheard of once upon a time. This makes Sakurina so refreshingly human and real, and to me even more worthy of emulation.

I can't help but feel bad though. She's sacrificed so much to become a supercute model, and yet what she's always really wanted is to sing. But so many things happened that got in the way of reaching her original dream. And it's sad that, judging from this entry, she's half-wishing it all happened differently. But then again, if she weren't famous as a model, would she even have had a chance? After all, she says she is plain-looking, with less than stellar facial features for starters. Most singers these days, and particularly more so in Japan, go through a major style overhaul when they want to break into the highly competitive music scene. And I hate to say this, but very few models like her would ever be successful singers because many of them simply don't have great voices. (My younger sister was as a model until very recently, and she just lucked out having her big, heavy, soul singer voice. The story of her short singing career would have to be told another time, however.)

Her blog entry is making me think a lot. But it's getting late and I have a place to be,

So, I am DYING for a new layout.

I am badly in need of a new layout for this blog of mine.

My only conditions are:
1) I get to keep the template - meaning, the links stay where they are, the posts stay in the same arrangement.
2) I get to change the image on the header.
3) I will have oranges and yellows in this blog. I know they are bright colours and terrible on the eyes on average, but I am planning to use burnt orange and terracotta shades along with sand yellow shades so all should be well. I'm actually a gold and bronze person as well, but metals are dull and blue-ish on the internet.

Sadly, I have had no time to fix it and I am already woefully behind in HTML skills. Let's not even get started on CSS coding please. X_x

I would really love to get pinksugarichigo to do my blog, but I can tell she's more into the slightly punk and rock styles, and I prefer would mine to be a bit more glamourous. Then again, I dunno if that would work considering my third condition, haha. XD

Conflicted/Word Vomit 3/? [To be transliterated in Tagalog]

There have been many days that I just wish we could write history differently. Or, like in the Choose Your Own Adventure paperbacks that Bantam Publishing put out for mid-teens in the 1980s and 1990s, you could make a more informed choice and arrive at a more definite conclusion. What if we could have known that the Americans of 1898 would betray us by buying our country from Spain for US$2 million (according to the currency exchange rate at the time)? What if we could have just fought the Spanish on our own and persevered in a war of more than a decade, instead of relying on the superior military strength and firepower of the Americans to have cut the war by 2 years? What if the British, instead of staying only four years, won the war versus Spain and took over Las Islas Filipinas - would our have been named differently, like St. George's Islands* or something? How I wonder.



I was in historic Corregidor two weeks ago, touring the tadpole-shaped island. Corregidor (formerly under the province of Bataan, now under the province of Cavite) is one of five in an island group. The Spanish called it "Corregidor" because it was the first entry point by boat into the Manila Bay area, thus being the island where papers were checked and corrected (Corregidor's name comes from the Spanish verb "corregir," or "to correct"). Meanwhile the other islands - or, in reality, islets - were La Monja (the only island that was not fortified), El Fraile, Caballo and Carabao. The Americans, once they bought the Philippines from Spain, changed it into "Fort Mills." Three of the smaller islets were fortified; El Fraile was renamed "Fort Drum," Caballo became "Fort Hughes" and Carabao was "Fort Frank." Even now, veterans from the USA and Japan are said to quickly recognise the American-era names, but not the older Spanish ones.

The island was pivotal in its role during World War II, because it was where the Allied forces - namely the USAFFE and the Philippine Commonwealth - took their last stand against the Japanese forces from late 1941 till 6th May 1942. A monument on Corregidor island, the Pacific War Memorial, was built to honor the Filipino and American servicemen who participated in the Pacific War. The structure is large rotunda in which a circular altar falls directly under the dome's open center through which light falls on the altar during daylight hours; on 6th May of every year, at exactly 12:00 noon, the sunlight falls right at the center to illuminate the entire dome.

If you discuss the Pacific theatre of World War II, you'd be hardpressed not to find my country, the Philippines, front and center in this historical era. However, it took around 55 to 60 years for the Philippine veterans, already long dwindled in number, to receive just compensation. They fought for love of the Philippines and for her freedom, as well as for fealty to the United States of America which was expected to grant the Philippines its freedom. But a quick Google search shows that after too long, Filipinos who fought in the Pacific theatre of World War II receive no more than US$15,000.00 - and that's if they are alive and breathing as US citizens. Filipinos who have retained citizenship get around US$10,000.00 if I am not mistaken, but they are still lucky, because families of deceased veterans on both sides of the Pacific Ocean don't get a single cent. This is, to me, a Pyhrric victory, not unlike the rape of Manila in 1945 towards the end of World War II; Filipinos have won, yes, but at an exceedingly painful cost.

I've seen these veterans, many of them on wheelchairs, feeble with lines drawn taut on their skins due to age. Their minds may be sharp - their eyes flash at the slightest sound to prove this keenness still inside - but their bodies, fatigued by war and years of waiting, no longer follow. They are pretty much the same age as my grandparents, and even now it is my greatest regret that they did not live to gather this pittance. My mother's father in particular would have benefited greatly from this - it would have made his diabetes treatment much easier on everyone's pockets, for starters; but then again it may have been for the best as well, because there was no psychiatric treatment available at the time of his death to veterans like him, who were never the same after having been in the battlefield. But that's another story for another day.

And as for the Spanish government and private firms? Well, except for scant philanthropic projects and cultural affairs, they keep an excessively low profile and just continue to market their wares. It makes me sad because Mango and Zara - both world-renowned Spanish fashion brands - have great collections, and are said to be made here in the country with super-cheap labour. As far as I can tell (and you are more than free to correct me on this one), neither funding nor curatorial connections helped the Corregidor Foundation in restoring the island.

And so I wonder - what could have been done differently? In the dim hope that history could be rewritten, would we as a people choose to take it? But more importantly, even with the chance of a rewrite or a choice, can we guarantee that the currently-known outcome will still not be the same experience of today? Real life truly is stranger than fiction.

*Hypothetical name only. I do know how important St. George is to the English, though.

An important message.

After an emotionally draining Sunday and an energy-sapping two weeks, I found these among the email messages I've subscribed to. The fact that they were received in my inbox on the very same emotionally-draining Sunday is a bit chilling and disturbing, because I had hoped for something that did not lead me to where angels fear to tread. Emphasis mine.

This is your mission. To become what you were born to be. You were born to bless and heal and love in a very specific, fantastic way. I don't know about you, but it's really incredibly exciting just making it all come to pass.

Here we have one of the smartest people who ever lived, accepting the fact that he couldn't do anything alone. He understood that he could not know what he knew or do what he did without the help of others. Greatness happens when people get together and pool their strengths for each other's benefit. It happens when lessons are passed down and taken even further. Who do you know in your life that you could learn from? Do you have a hero? How can you build on the opportunities that are given to you? How will you pass your knowledge down to the coming generation? Learn your strengths and the strengths of the people around you. Find out how you can help each other achieve what you never could alone. Right now, you can be the one "seeing farther." Be the "giant with shoulders" for someone else. Either way, you'll be part of something big.

I love the gift of healing, but right now, with the way things are looking I can't even manage to heal myself. I'm so terribly drained that I just want to curl up in a corner and cry myself to sleep, but I can't get the rest and release I need. (For starters, I am wide awake.) I really, badly need a recharge. X_x Pwede po bang time-out muna, please? =_=

The 25s: The Ultimate Gratitudes or The Intangibles That I'm Grateful For

Of course, I am no ingrate. I have realised that I have been very lucky. And so, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would love to return my love to the universe in this manner.

1. My family, which keeps me grounded and sane no matter what happens. 
2. The chance to talk to my older sister again - her birthday falls near or during the Thanksgiving weekend, which is a plus (November 23rd)
3. My newest job, yay! (Can't believe I forgot this. XP)
4. The chance to determine who and what my friends REALLY are
5. University of the Philippines In-Christ Thrust for University Students (UP ICTUS) - almost 30 years and counting! Anniversary next week! Nihil Fide Sine - Nothing Without Faith! Never Without Passion! \^0^/
6. The opportunity to lead Reach Out Otaku 
7. Mommy Gemmy, for founding Reach Out Otaku
8. Costume play - I don't care who invented it, bless their souls for making it popular! XD
9. Graduating college with cum laude honors - I'd had such a hard time, but even now I still don't think I deserve it, because by technicality alone I shouldn't have gotten honours in the first place.
10. The opportunities to prove that I am human and thus capable of feeling, compassion and change.
11. People who, in rare occasions (I speak from personal experience), love me more than I love them, and way more than I love myself ... I cannot count you all, but suffice it to say you're all on Blogger and LJ too. :P
12. Many boys and men from ICTUS and the cosplay community, for teaching me that not all men are as terrible as I've been lead to believe - there is a LOOOOOOOONG (and unfortunately very tragic) story behind this, and you will NEVER pry any of the details out of me! v^_^v
13. The problems that cast shadows in my life, because I beliefe God never gives us what we cannot handle.

...One of these days I WILL do a photo-collage here. I love my sister, but we're ruthlessly competitive sisters, and today is one of those days when I just can't stand how pretty her LJ is next to either of my blogs. v^_^0

The 25s: The Material Possessions I am Most Grateful For

Here are the things I am most grateful for. I have realised I am very lucky to have enjoyed these comforts and my own personal fortune, however small it often appears to be. ^_^

1. My life. It IS material and it is something that's ultimately mine.
2. The house I currently live in, La Casa Nueva. Part of my life savings (put up from when I was a little tyke getting a small allowance at grade school) went into this beauty. And now I have my own room too! ♥ We've definitely come a long way from renting a tiny flat full of mice and cockroaches which barely had any running water.
3. My eyeglasses. I have terrible vision (short-sightedness/myopia plus astigmatism on the left eye), and I don't tear up easily, which is why I prefer glasses over invasive contact lenses. My current pair is extra-special because I bought it myself and it looks super cool. 
4. Every single thing that was given to me as a present which I currently use. Whether it's something edible or useful, something large or small, something worn or held or simply kept, I know that the person that gave that item to me gave much time, effort and money up just to give something of great value to me.
5. My job, my career and my agency (and my bosses). They came at a time I felt very hopeless, and I have learned so much and enjoyed so many great things that I honestly can't think of myself doing anything besides public relations anymore.
6. All the clothes, shoes, bags, belts and accessories (especially costume jewelry) that I bought with my own money. I am grateful because these are things I bought for myself, for my own personal use and enjoyment, with the money I make doing something I love.
7. My Panasonic CCD mini-DV video camera. I wish I could use it more often though. I miss making videos! T.T
8. My costumes, because their presence means I DID enjoy being a geeky and creative kid. dXDb Especially Danaya of Encantadia because she literally opened doors for me - new friends, newfound appreciation for myself, newfound appreciation for Filipino culture (you need to see the show to see why), and new cosplay possibilities.
9. My modest anime and manga collection, which have influenced my tastes and my worldview profoundly. I've collected them even before being nerdy and geeky were cool. They entertain me and make me happy. dXDb
10. My lovely wigs, for the same reasons as above. Also, they give me a new look and a measure of confidence to try new things ... notably new hair styles and colours. dXDb
11. My ultimate impulse buy, the white 2008 edition MacBook that I have dubbed Chigusa. I wanted to give her up, but she's become so useful to me especially for doing work outside of the office and the house. I still need to pay Mum my share of her though. XD;;;
12. My built-from-scratch desktop, Anthy. From an ASUS-Seagate-Intel base, she's now a hybrid Gigabyte-ASUS-Seagate-Intel-Samsung baby. Through the years she has been my repository of media that I have made, as well as the many things that continue to inspire me from all over the world. Also without her, I'd never play all the awesome MMORPGs and PC games I love. dXDb 
13. My Sony Ericsson Walkman w801i Black Lady, which at her prime was the most gorgeous phone ever. She's a grande old dame now. ♥ Thanks for selling this beautiful baby to me, Carlo San (a former colleague at my former office)!
14. My Nokia 6020 mobile, Pink Lady. She was originally silver, but after her silver covers chipped off I customised her with a pink set and tons of decoden despite being my oldest phone (circa 2006 baby - three-and-a-half years and counting!). She's so durable and portable, there's no way I'll let her go. ♥
15. My paper journals, organizers and diaries. They are terribly cheesy and melodramatic but they link me to the Ligayas of years past.
16. My online journals that I have been able to keep for the past 10 years or so, because they help me evolve into the Ligaya that I am becoming.
17. Every little material item that Mahal has given me, from food to jewelry to candles to manga to books to mix CDs. Yes, they all deserved their own number because these are all presents from my beloved. ♥♥♥  
18. The things I've won through lucky draws, like the tickets for the very intimate Anggun concert at the Hard Rock Cafe back in 1999 (wow, it's been 10 years! *0*) and the HP printer I won during the Gadgets 4th anniversary party this past June. Who'd have thought I'd get so lucky? ;P Now how I wish I could get lucky again... X3

A Photoshoot for Work! <3

Hi all!

I guess I've missed my photoshoots with friends from Cosplay.ph pretty badly, because when it was announced by my colleague that we were doing a photoshoot for work, I really went all out. dXDb We had hired a long-time friend of the company who was a professional photographer, who in turn got us a shoot director and a very lovely studio with much room, great lighting and all-white walls, and began planning, though rather haphazardly, the two-themed shoot.

Unlike my earlier apprehension, when we did the first part of the shoot which was white (top) on white (background), we found that we didn't actually recede into the walls. Yay! XD Unfortunately, we forgot to have photos of ourselves as a group taken while wearing white tops. >.<000

In any case, our photographer was very kind to allow us to camwhore shamelessly inside the well-lit studio between and after the shoot. XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I had myself made up to look like Sayaka from the defunct Es Poshh! Magazine, but that proved a bit difficult because my face is terribly round and my hair normally refuses to follow any curled style (unless I get it permed, which costs an arm and a leg). Not to mention that lately, my once-flawless skin is now susceptible to pimples. DDDDDDDDDX But thank goodness for an awesome hair and make-up team that was able to follow the look I wanted using mineral make-up and, of all things, a straightening hair iron. I love them so much! ♥ I am pleased to report that 4 hours later, my hair and make-up held up remarkably well, though admittedly the humidity had set in on my hair and reduced the curls just a bit.

We've already got our photos, but I haven't put them up yet because we're still in the process of editing the official shots. For the meantime, I'm putting up the products of our self-indulgence.

Behind-The-Scenes
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/album.php?aid=124720&id=558573814
Multiply: http://ligayadiwata.multiply.com/photos/album/66/2009-11-03_VPRI_Photoshoot_Behind_the_scenes
Hair and Make-up: Ms. Toni Malabanan and her team
Photographer: Ms. Orthia Hernandez

EDIT: Official shots are out!
Official Photoshoot
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=127961&id=558573814&l=2922191893
Multiply: (to be added as I left the HD with the originals at work =_=0)
Hair and Make-up: Ms. Toni Malabanan and her team
Photographer: Mr. Louie Aguinaldo

The 25 Wants: Hoping God & the universe hear me!

I want:

1. A credit card. No, seriously. Bringing so much cash is worrying. X_x Most likely the UnionBank EON account because it's PayPal-friendly.
2. A decent pair of shorts that I can fill out without riding up my crotch or simply just looking skanky.
3. MATCHING UNDIES!!! Because none of my bras go with my knickers, WTF. >_>0
4. 2TB hard drive. Just for back-up. Seriously. So my computer can keep its games and pr0nz hahaha.
5. New wigs, especially those with FULLER POOFINESS! So I can be more gyaru and just go hair-crazy some days without worrying over my ever-increasing hairfall. T.T
6. A Sony Walkman with matching Bluetooth headphones. As much as I love Apple, the iPod has become seriously overrated and less fun. I want to go against the norm. ;P
7. Skins, decoden and rhinestones for my phones, lappy and camera. I kinda like my PC looking and staying black but if a gorgeous yet supremely monstrously functional case comes out of the PC manufacturers I may just change my mind. XD
8. Old issues of Es POSHH!, Ego System, Honey Girl, Vanilla Girl and all the lovely but sadly defunct gyaru magazines.
9. Volume 13 of the original Japanese version of the Ayashi no Ceres manga so that I can FINALLY complete my collection. XD
10. Work-out videos, particularly for Tae-Bo, Hip-hop Abs, Bellydance and anything to do with dancing and martial arts.
11. A tan, or a less-than-PhP1,000 artificial tanner, to even out my skin tone.
12. Sony Creative Software 2009 Editions, especially Vegas, the original of which is rare and hard to come by here where I live.
13. More make-up! Preferably mineral and/or hypoallergenic. (Sadly, the Shu Uemura testers my younger sister gave me caused some crazy breakouts that I never recovered from. X_x)
14. Shiseido skincare and beauty products. Because, to my greatest frustration, this is about the only brand that still agrees with my skin. 
15. A perfume that comes thisclose to the bouquet of The Body Shop's Oceanus, which sadly has been phased out. T.T
16. DVD sets of all the following: Ayashi no Ceres, Sailormoon (all 5 seasons), Saint Tail, Inuyasha, Sugar Sugar Rune, Tsukikage no Ran, Jubei-chan the Ninja Girl, Candy Candy, True Blood, Peach Girl, Hana Yori Dango, Meteor Garden, Hana Kimi, Vision of Escaflowne (movie is optional), Flight of the Conchords, Charmed, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Black Lagoon, Card Captor Sakura, Angelic Layer, Vampire Princess Miyu, CSI: Las Vegas (only the episodes with Gil Grissom in the lead though), Roswell, Star Trek: The Next Generation, the Audrey Hepburn Collection, Sex and The City, Heroes, Oh My Goddess!, HBO Films' John Adams, and last but definitely not least Joan of Arcadia.
17. An upright piano and some starter music scores I can use to teach myself to read notes and play piano with again.
18. Piano, voice, street/hiphop/pole dance and clothing technology lessons that someone else will be willing to sponsor in my behalf. (For the music lessons, I'd rather take them at The Ryan Cayabyab Music School, BTW.)
19. Personalised calling cards for Midwest Ocean and for my own business purposes. Must make time for this.
20. I still want the Chloe leather alligator fold clutch. Second-hand, or preferably someone can produce a version locally, one which doesn't have to be made of real leather. Close-up here.
21. Sexy black legwarmers with chains. (Granted, I COULD make them myself but I don't have the necessary skills to ensure they don't all fall apart after just one wearing. XD;;;) Photo taken from Royal Jelly Clothing, no longer in stock in that store though.
22. Music-themed anything! Whether it be this Forever 21 Melody hoodie jacket (alas, it's no longer in stock either, I really should've bought it during the holidays! DX) or this piano and musical-themed bag from the Japanese brand JUNKS, I am totally and madly in love!
23. These Kvoll strappy sandals with heart-shaped heels, sans ribbons. I first fell in love with Christian Lacroix wedges with heart-shaped cut-outs during the Lacroix exhibit 2 years ago at the Ayala Museum (thanks Ate! XD), and when I was in Taipei this past June I stumbled across another set of heels in this exact style. However I didn't have money at the time so I never got to buy them.

The 25s (Possible-to-reach) Needs: Hoping God & the universe hear me...

To God and the universe, I hope you can help me with the following needs:

1. At least US$10,000 added to EACH of my bank accounts (BPI savings account, Banco Filipino savings account, and the one I plan to open in Standard Chartered) so I can finally get that long-delayed trip to see Mahal again without worrying about rainy STORMY days.
2. A ten-year multiple-entry visa (B2) and TWO-WAY tickets to the USA from the Philippines to see Ate, Jannie, Laney and Mahal!!!
3. A USB cable for my Sony T-20 Cybershot (pamana ni Inay/inherited from Mum). Okay, I forgot I DO have this already, so instead of my old number #7 I would like some better-quality silicone cases for my mobile phones. An almost-new Sony DSC-T20 Cybershot camera, which I lost during an event at the Peninsula Manila last 23rd September. DDDDDX 
4. Better quality silicon cases for my mobile phones. 
5. A new set of eyeglasses with ultra-thin, multi-coloured transitional lenses (L: -6.00 + astigmatism, R: -3.50). I prefer thin, coloured rims as horned rims don't work for my facial structure at all. 
6. Diksyunaryo ng Wikang Pilipino (Dictionary of the Filipino Language) by UP Press. Or, failing that, a decent, comprehensive, one-stop Filipino-English dictionary, which we SERIOUSLY lack in this country.
7. A miniature (portable?) electronic sewing machine complete with implements.
8. A decent pair of jogging/jazz/workout pants/shorts that don't split when stretched out at the crotch as I can get surprisingly involved and malleable during my exercises.
9. Board shorts especially for summer days. Thanks Ate A and Ate E!♥
10. Dress forms, body hangers and/or mannequin bodies for my costumes and for my sister K's fashions.
11. Original Windows 7 OS and Microsoft Professional applications for Windows XP and 7 - preferably not overpriced by PhP1,000 the way they sell it here (@#&;* local customs bureau!), and with full multilingual and app support. 
12. The latest Adobe Creative Suite, all-original and with full multilingual and app support.
13. The latest McAfee Anti-Virus system, all-original and with full multilingual and app support.
14. A new case for Anthy, my PC, who looks so shabby because of all the holes my Dad carved into her casing so we could fit more fans in. (As it turned out, all those fans contributed to her constant overheating, and the solution was newer, better fans.)
15. Lots of belts (especially narrow, not thick belts) and shoes. I need belts because most of my trousers and some of my skirts keep falling (curse of the half-size), and shoes because I wear them out so easily (curse of ginormous yet strangely half-size feet, grossly disproportionate to my body). Brand is not important, but build and durability are.
16. Lots of jewelry that are extremely durable but also cheap or at least reasonably priced.
17. Lots of bags for daily use and special occasions alike, but most especially a formal yet theft-proof clutch or purse. I will pay premium only if it's sturdy, not because it's by a famous brand or its knock-off. 
18. Business card keepers for work and personal use.
19. 4D-size batteries for emergencies, especially after Typhoons Ketsana and Parma hit us.
20. BlackBerry Storm charger for work, which I ironically lost on early September after I brought it back to work. DX
21. Clear books and clear sheets for the old cutouts and clippings that I really, REALLY want to save.
22. BlackBerry devices with matching data plans. One for me, one for Mahal (especially so we can chat for hours on WiFi!) and one for Dad because it would totally help his business. Sorry Nokia, Sony Ericsson and Apple, this baby beats you in lightweight-ness (especially compared to the MacBook) and data efficiency hands down. Though those keypads can get seriously tiny...
23. A nice, durable, clamshell/hardshell laptop bag that can comfortably fit a 13.3" white MacBook (my workstation) and all its stuff. Thanks K! ♥ Well, crap. I still need one because the last one I had, a lovely black one full of lace with a Hello Kitty design given by K, got stolen while I was at the mall - though thankfully without the laptop inside. DDDDDDDDDDDDDX
24. A spiffy wireless modem that's stronger than our grande olde dame of a wired modem - as much as I love her, she IS showing her age already by not being able to pick up signals via the cord - and our el cheapo router combined.
25. A portable HDD, minimum capacity 320GB, with its own idiot-proof shock absorbers to match my on-the-go lifestyle. Bonus points if it looks pretty. X3 ♥ Got a spiffy black 320GB Apollo II from Imation, complete with its own cover! ♥

PORTED FROM VOX: Boys need not apply.

I found this on ChaiGyaru's blog, who in turn found it on Nira Chan's blog, and I totally feel her. While I currently have a man to lean on, and I know he won't be perfect, I still find myself wishing on occasion that some of these things would come easier to him...

I want a man, not a boy. ♥

a man who knows how to appreciate the things I do for him.
a man who pampers me with something money can't buy.
a man who knows his mistakes and tries to make it right.
a man who can be my pillow whenever I need someone to lean on.
a man who knows when to give in and let down his pride. 
a man who’d communicate, listen and respond.
a man who respects me, my family and his. 
a man who enjoys what life has to offer. 
a man who can say yes or no instead of ‘anything’.
a man who won’t keep me waiting though the day or night. 
a man who (at least) try figure out what’s going on inside me and resolve it. 
a man who help the relationship work when it gets tough.
a man who'd never lay his hand on woman.
a man who works hard and planning well for his future.
a man who is motivated.
a man who takes responsibility for his actions 
a man who gives me freedom that I need.
a man who loves me with no doubts.

I would also like to add that I want 

a man who knows and understands that a woman will usually associate sex with love.

a man who believes in a Higher Power and would acknowledge that sometimes, there are things beyond any measure of human control. 

OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGGGG!!!

I found out from one of my trusted sellers in Multiply that she's offering a personal shopping service from Japanese stores. Now that I'm leaning heavily towards the gyaru style, I'm going nuts because this is the chance to own something, ANYTHING by Cecil McBee, Gilfy, Swordfish, Ego System, Liz Lisa... OHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

Unfortunately, I still owe some other sellers money. And I just finished investing quite a heavy sum in retail treasury bonds, so I have absolutely skint. DX

Not to mention that I feel incredibly guilty since there are so many people out there currently living worse off than I am due to Typhoons Ketsana and Parma, which attacked our part of the country in the last 2 weeks.

I just want to go for it SO badly though...! T.T

God, please, I would like a windfall right about now. Please? I've been really, REALLY good! T_____________________T

The 25 (Almost-Unreachable) Needs: Hoping God & the universe hear me!

These qualities and situations I have always desired for a VERY long time. I'm doing my best to work on these, but I wish some of them would come to me more easily. The others, well, they are what we call "suntok sa buwan" ... literally "a punch at the moon," the best English transliteration being "aiming for the moon." I am hoping and praying that they don't feel that way for very long though.

1. Longer weekends. As long as they are announced a week early and not sooner.
2. Longer vacation days, so I don't succumb to the stress of my occupation and thus burn out easily. *looks meaningfully at her PR agency, which she loves but sadly doesn't offer more than 1 week's vacation at the most*
3. Better eyesight. Glasses can be a pain even with the meganekko/girls with glasses/girl geek-nerd trend being big right now. If by some miracle I either suddenly possess enough tear glands which will facilitate immediate healing after eye surgery, or I just suddenly wake up with a marked improvement to my eyesight, I will be forever grateful. The only reason why I could not qualify for the surgery is because I can't cry - and because I can't cry, I can seriously go blind instead of heal during post-ops for the eyes.
4. Handwriting that's reasonably easy to read. Ever since I was a child, I practised, but I could never get it right. I think I've just given up now because it's just so hard to conform my fingers into those words. X_x
5. Infinite patience. Enough said.
6. Retaining my capacity to sing. Once upon a time I had such a beautiful voice. ;A; I should start sleeping early though, but still that's kinda hard considering we have so many things to do at work and even get calls so late into the night... =_=
7. Superior PC tech skills so I can finally reformat, reprogram, rewire and revamp my PC without worries. (I am trying to practise but I always get it horribly wrong. DX)
8. Superior hair-doing skills. Seriously. I try so hard but cannot style my hair to save my life wallet.
9. Superior make-up skills so I can do my own make. I mean, I AM getting there... but I wish I could be with it a bit faster, y'know?
10. Superior styling skills so I can maximise the clothes I currently have and fit them into the current trends, instead of seeing all the pretty but trendy new ones that are being sold right now.
11. The ability to discern which of my clutter stays in my room, and which goes.
12. Superior cash and credit management skills so I can finally ensure my future.
13. Superior business acumen, because I have inherited absolutely none from my perennially business-minded mum.
14. Superior sewing skills so I can DIY my clothes and finally sew my own costumes. Alas, I am currently "sewing machine killer." XP
15. The capacity to forgive.
16. More courage and humility to ask for forgiveness from others.
17. More self-control. This means prudence over my spending, moderation in my eating, restraint over my reactions, and particularly shutting up instead of talking, because obviously I have no bone of tact and diplomacy in my body. That way I wouldn't need to ask for forgiveness as much and I wouldn't need to try and remedy disasters that could've been avoided had I done better.
18. More tact and diplomacy, along with the self-control.
19. More courage to do things I've always been too scared of trying, like swimming, riding a bicycle...
20. Increased speed and the ability to assimilate new actions quickly so I can start and finish work faster.
21. More time to visit and hang out with my older sister in the USA. Oh, and the cousins too, but not so much them as with Ate. X3
22. Meet Archfaith and my cosplay friend Mew Pudding in New York, and Pinksugarichigo along with all the other gyaru in California. Hopefully I can do the latter when I go to the US.
23. Mahal with me right now and forever. Yes, I am thinking about marriage and raising a family. (Who'd have thought?)
24. More free time. To party, to fix my room, to fix my handwriting, to fix my weight, to fix my LIFE...
25. More sleep. Which reminds me, why am I still up?

Conflicted/Word Vomit 2/? [To be transliterated in Tagalog]

Hmm, my thoughts have become disjointed and incoherent and are going EVERYWHERE. I guess it's because I think based on emotions? This makes it so much harder to write them down.

So let's see... where did I leave off?

Oh yes. Now changing an entire mindset, which is perhaps the domino which will start the whole betterment and positive development movement, is the hardest to do. Mental conditioning is difficult to effect especially in the adult years, and it doesn't take a scientist to see that.

The Filipino is notorious for having amnesia of both long-term and short-term memory. We take the proverbs "Forgive and forget" and "Start fresh, start clean" a little too seriously. This is one of the saddest things about being Filipino - we, as a nation, forget too soon the grievous sins committed against our people and our country, whether by foreign parties or (and this is where it gets worse) fellow Filipinos ourselves. For starters, we suffered exactly 333 years of tyranny under Spain; today, Instituto Cervantes and the Catholic Church are still around (as much as I believe wholeheartedly in Christ Jesus, it is very sad that many figures in the Church have done things contrary to His teachings through the ages), IBM's Philippine unit hires and trains Filipino call center agents for accounts based in Spain and Latin America, many land, labour and governance problems rooted in politicking Spanish exiles and their way of "running the country" continue to plague us today, and I haven't even mentioned the controversial "Filipinas" biscuits which were said to have tasted good, save for their Oreo-like premise of dark cookies with white filling. Have the Spanish insulares and naturalised Filipinos originally from Spain helped the Philippines? Not really - the capitalist Zobel de Ayala family, for instance, have contributed to the rapid, technologically-driven Western-style development of Makati City, but they have also popularised mall culture and San Miguel Beer to new heights. No-one had heard a peep from them the moment the Ondoy/Ketsana hit, and one friend who found herself stranded in one of the low-end Ayala malls in Taguig City told me that the Ayala personnel were extremely lacking in compassion at the height of the storm.

Oh, alright, I take back my hatred of San Miguel Beer, but then again, I was never a beer drinker as I find it too bitter.

This kind of mental condition could only be sheer stupidity at best. But that is how my brain is conditioned. There is no avoiding it; after all, while my late grandparents fought in their own ways during the Japanese occupation during World War II, I can only be described as a rabid J-Pop fan who is a virtual slave to gyaru fashion. Except I refuse to forget, or at least I grasp at straws and devise ways to keep everything in my memory.

Trust me, it's not fun to focus on the negative like this. But the Filipino likes focusing more on the happy and pretty things than the sad and ugly ones. I know I prefer sleeping in the car than staring the greasy-skinned child wearing tattered clothes begging me to please buy a sampaguita garland, and I know I will much rather read my magazines, newspapers and books in English than the longwinded vernacular.

Conflicted/Word Vomit 1/? [To be transliterated in Tagalog]

Wow, it's been a while since I was last here, hasn't it?

After the catastrophe that was Typhoon Ondoy (international name Ketsana), I've been thinking again. A lot.

And as we all know, the products of my thoughts will most likely be tiring to read as they are to write. Please bear with me; otherwise, you've been warned.

First, I regret sincerely that I was not more committed to the environmental effort. This was Mother Nature's epic bitching and ownage of the Filipino people, who I must admit have an attitude of being nice only when it works to our advantage. It used to be in our nature to live in total synchronicity with the environment's habits, but endless colonialisation and hurried industrialisation (the latter having been introduced to us by the Americans) have made myself and my countrymen inconsiderate of our surroundings and the other creatures that live in it.

Please note I am in no way generalizing the United States of America and its people, as well as the Philippines and her people. I am well aware that both countries have their own strengths, and that indolence and irresponsibility know no race, no religion and even no gender. It's just that... somehow, I wish we Filipinos were able to figure out what the Americans were so good at doing, and then do one better by surpassing them instead of just following their lead, or worse, bickering among ourselves. Those are two Filipino traits that peeve me - bickering and blaming, especially because we Filipinos are happy to always rely on other people to take on the tasks that we ourselves should be doing and are natural debaters when we find an opposing perspective. More on this later.

Anyway, it used to be that we in the Philippines had natural treasures, "likas na yaman", that we were very proud of as a people - tall, swaying coconut trees that reached to the sky, crystal-clear bodies of water, wide-eyed tarsiers on Chocolate Hills. After all, we have always been the Pearl of the Orient Seas. But the concern that many of us have these days is to be rich through any means possible - even if that entails making colleagues look bad in front of our bosses, cutting more trees to build more living (as opposed to livable) spaces, and throwing our trash just about anywhere because we're in a hurry to get to work. In fact, immediately after the onslaught of Ondoy in our metropolis, my friends retold in Facebook how the drivers who made public transportation possible were mindlessly throwing their trash outside their windows. It's a shame, considering I actually did join an environmentally-driven organisation. Of course, since I wasn't passionate about the cause (I've always been more civic-minded), I hardly got anything done. I did practise proper disposal and segregation of waste, but I've always been queasy around animals. Even now I'm not exactly a pet-friendly person. To be fair, my fast-paced working gal lifestyle doesn't allow for pets at all; I hardly even have time for myself these days. But I admit that privately, I always held much disapproval and disappointment for people who spend so much to groom and even dress their animals in human-like clothing when so many people outside were dying of hunger and lack of shelter and medicines. What's worse are those people who like keeping animals and yet do not take care of them responsibly - and make no mistake, we have a lot of them here.

I honestly think that many of my own people, myself included, really do not have a sense of responsibility. I do not bother to reduce the clutter of my own room because I am lazy, because I know that I can always rely on my mother, who prefers to see everything tidy, to clean everything up for me. (I'm very sorry Mum, I will get to that long-awaited clean-up once I'm done with this entry.) I do not lobby for more tree-lined parks and pedestrian lanes in Makati because I leave the planning for these to our city government, which has many staffers who admittedly do not have the foresight to see the benefits of these things. I do not complain about the massive logging in my mother's mountainous hometown of Rizal, Laguna, because again that's the provincial government's work; besides, we're based in Manila now, and there are some greedy relatives there who we'd rather not see.

It won't be easy, but I will have to change my mindset and make myself accountable for causing the floods brought by Ondoy to a certain extent.

PS this show of mercy and accountability to the environment will not be extended to mosquitos, flies and cockroaches though. They're disgusting and carry diseases on them no matter what they do. Ugh. XP

The 25s: Things I Want To Do Before I Die

This list has been carefully thought of and not yet deliberately filled out. Well, so far these seem the most feasible things to do.

1. (Learn how to) fall in love freely for once, and maybe even admit to the object(s) of my affection of my feelings for him/her(/them). Stand by my decision that Mahal is truly worth all the pain I'm going through to be with him, worth being the only one for me. Preferably marry him for keeps at Church. 
2. Put all my favourite charity work in order. Re-instate Reach Out Otaku so that a firm system is in place, and it keeps going through at least two standard activities for years on end. Return some of my time, talent and treasure to ICTUS as well.
3. Do something insanely daring and not at all associated with me. Learn how to swim. Learn how to ride a bicycle and a motorcycle. Learn how to dance. Learn how to sew clothes and a costume or 10.  
4. Learn how to DIY around the house. Really. 
5. Travel. A LOT. Preferably return to South Korea, China, Italy and/or any Schengen country ASAP, and finally go to Japan and Israel. Possibly visit Argentina while I'm at it. 
6. Watch a full Motograndprix race day live at either: Sepang, Malaysia; Laguna Seca, California; or Motegi or Suzuka, Japan.
7. Meet my penpal Sarah and catch up on so much lost time.
8. Catch up with the Seven Habits Pioneers gang.
9. Compose music and create videos, and possibly make music videos! I used to be able to do so back in broadcasting classes, but I've lost the skills. DX
10. Get in touch with my geek self and go marathon the following: Battlestar Galactica (which my sister K likes), The X-Files (which my sisters love), Xena: Warrior Princess, Star Trek (though I am partial to The Next Generation, I should try the others like the original 1960s series and Deep Space Nine), Heroes (K and I are still sad it got cancelled ToT), The Journeyman (underestimated series IMHO),  and... am I missing anything?
11. Go to a gyaru meet-up, learn para-para well enough to be able to dance properly without tripping all over myself, and generally have fun and be true to my gyaru-at-heart self. 
12. Finish all my cosplay plans and ease my way into permanent cosplay retirement. (And learn how to make my own costume in the process.) Para na rin may maisuot ako kung sakaling... a basta. X3 Akin na lang muna ito.
13. Have a super-glamourous photoshoot taken by involving up-and-coming photographers, hair and make-up artists, and possibly stylists with a strong gyaru sensibility. Para naman maramdaman kong maganda ako. XD;
14. Train in martial arts and self-defence.
15. Run a marathon that's either locally staged or for all of Asia. 
16. Become as cool and as calm as ice on winter. For the sake of sanity and efficiency.
17. Fix my meager properties and business (costumes, animanga, games, bank accounts, insurance, budget!!!, etc.), and invest in stocks and retail treasury bonds if necessary. Obviously this means I have to earn and save a lot. v^_^0
18. In fact, my goal is to EARN PhP500,000.00 A MONTH within the next 5 years. 
19. Get Midwest Ocean and Practical Love up and running ASAP, again to help Mahal and myself with the PhP500,000.00-a-month goal. Now if only I weren't so tired all the time... =_=000 
20. Confront THAT PERSON peacefully and calmly. Ayoko nang magalit. Ayoko na ring matakot. Ayoko nang mag-atubili. Wala na akong panahon. Pagod na pagod na ako sa paghihintay. Closure MUST come no matter what.
21. Get people to watch over me and also take care of whatever may lie pending during - and possibly after - the confrontation. I DEMAND these people to be friends who will stand by me regardless of the outcome.
22. Set the record straight with some family members, and ensure that no matter what happens, our family remains strong.
23. Make amends and be at peace with everyone and anyone I can remember off the top of my head.
24. Party hard with all the people I love while I can. Preferably all at the same time, all together. 
25. Live freely with very few regrets, if not none at all. 

...Pero geez. Masyado talaga akong atat magplano. Matagal pa naman ito ano!! ;P

Tayo na, tayo na!

Partida tayo may nakaalala pa nito. d^_~b



Honestly, while the late Rene Villanueva was a most disagreeable man and a disappointment for youngsters who loved his TV show, everyone from my generation agrees that Batibot was one of the best things ever shown on Philippine television. ♥

We need a revolution...

We need a revolution...
Originally uploaded by Ligaya Diwata.

Yes, I was in the rallies leading to the 1986 EDSA Revolution. I'm the tiny kid in yellow. My mum, in pink, is holding me, along with our nanny at the time. The other young girl is my older sister. Unfortunately, I'm not sure where this is, but according to the writing at the back of the photo (my mum's) this was somewhere near EDSA.

It also sucks that we lost all the other photos taken no this date. Lesson to future parents: Never, EVER, let your kids take your original photos! It's a good thing we now have digital photography and digital storage - like Flickr! - at this day and age.

Uploaded to commemorate the 26th death anniversary of Senator Benigno Severino "Ninoy" Aquino Jr. on 21 August 2009. This event became the catalyst for the 1986 EDSA Revolution.

'Wag kang kukurap! (Blink and you'll miss it!)

While looking for videos on the late, great former President Cory Aquino on YouTube, I stumbled across this:


ASAP 2009 tribute to Cory Aquino, originally aired on August 2, 2009 live on ABS-CBN 2 and simulcast (or delayed telecast?) on The Filipino Channel (also owned by ABS-CBN Networks). Uploaded by VisayanPinoySBG without intent of infringing copyright laws.

Do NOT miss 3:55 of the footage - the wedding photo, where Ms. Aquino's eyes blink! Whether or not this was a broadcast flicker, or the image happened to be super imposed over a simulcast on-cam footage of a viewer, or it was actually Ms. Aquino being slightly impish but still untiringly watching over her baby, the Filipino people, who knows?

Also, major props for people who noticed:

Read this, PRES. CORY AQUINO died August 1, 2009 at 3:18 in the morning. That's 08/01/2009 3:18 right? now, remove the zero's(0) and put the numbers together... Results to 8129318 Rearrange the numbers... Results to 8/21/1983 That's August 21, 1983. The day Ninoy died. Coincidence? That's the true Love.
- taken from the official Cory Aquino Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Yellow-Ribbon-for-President-Cory-Aquino/100738003363)

Nakakakilig nga naman kung iisipin. ♥

Plus, of course, a bit of school pride, courtesy of Mr. Erik De Castro and (Thomson) Reuters:

Students make the sign of the cross as they pay their respects to late former President Corazon Aquino at De La Salle University in Manila August 3, 2009. REUTERS/Erik De Castro


Postscript: This idiot keeps spamming the official Ninoy Aquino thread on Facebook by writing hate messages! Writing it once was enough, but seriously, your devotion to piss people off... are you a die-hard Marcos loyalist (in which case, didn't you get the memo that Bongbong and Imee Marcos were at Tita Cory's wake on Tuesday, August 4th?) or are you a typical uzi (usisero/kibitzer) with too much free time on your hands? :P